Express depress(ion)!

A.O. Scott reviewed Adrian Tomine’s  graphic stories Killing and Dying in the New York Times Goddamn Book Review! How can people be so talented and accomplished! I scramble to get a couple of single panels off each week while in the back of my head I KNOW I’m supposed to be making a graphic book about caring for my mom Cleopatra who had dementia.

Translucent pink folders crammed with notes, drawings, photographs, memories and anecdotes slump into one another on my office floor.  Megabytes of digital cartoons about my caregiving years (mom passed away last June) buzz in folders and files on my desktop. I have  everything I need to fashion it, including enthusiastic lookers-on.

Instead I research for hours to figure out what size page? What format? Black and white or color? Should I write it first and then illustrate that? For the past two years I have started and then stopped. I have poured out and laid everything in my translucent folders onto folding tables. I have pinned that stuff to a painted soundboard wall only to unpin and pack it up.

Instead of setting out on the project again I get more single panel gigs (thank goodness), get recipes for plum pudding and consider getting another rescue dog. You know what’s going to happen, don’t you? Someone else will do this book about their relative and A.O. Scott will review it as if it is cinema (which it will be) at the exact moments I am scooping the dog run with a punctured plastic sack.

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3 thoughts on “Express depress(ion)!

  1. At the risk of sounding all know-it-all-ish: You just lost your mom 6 months ago?? Maybe you need more time to let all that mysterious stuff of story and memory and time to form itself into some narrative. We all know you have a book in you!! If it’s not getting done because it isn’t ready yet–and maybe it has to go from the book you THINK needs to happen to the book it WILL be. In any case, NYT or not, you get a good review in MY paper, Edie!!

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